 Crustaceans are the toughest creatures ever to scuttle across the Earth or slither through the murky deep. Claws and pincers. Hard shells. Impenetrable armor. Wiggly eyes on stalks. Lobsters and crabs have for thousands of years been the ultimate fighting machines. We kick butt. We were poised to take over this puny planet, by land and by sea. We were invincible. No predators could take us. None would want to. But then something unforeseen appeared. Something horrible. Something threatening. Butter. Someone discovered butter. Melted butter. Humans discovered that beneath our hard and nasty exteriors, we're actually pretty tasty. Who knew? And now our senior crustaceans worldwide, lobsters and crabs, are fair game for everyone with a saucepan and a tub of butter. Oh, the humanity. So we're shipping out and moving to Mars. We're building an invincible army of space warriors. And we're going to tap into the frozen icecaps and refill the famous canals. Martian soil will be ours. Martian seas will be ours. And the Solar System will once again fear our jaws that bite, the claws that catch. Soon we will rule. Soon. |
