WE REGRET THAT WE ARE NOT ABLE TO BRING YOU THE ACTUAL MATCH, AS THE FFFBI HAS CENSORED THE RECORD OF THIS EPIC BATTLE.

SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT ALL THE DIRTY WRESTLING MOVES WERE EMPLOYED, INCLUDING:

THE QUADRUPLE WHOMP

THE TOSSED SALAD

THE LONG MARCH TO ALBANY

GRANDMA'S GIRDLE

THE GRILLED CHEESE

THE LINDSAY LOWHAND

THE STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE

THE UPSIDE ON THE DOWNSIDE

IN THE END, AGENT McGURK EMERGED VICTORIOUS, AND ALL CRUST AGENTS SITTING IN THE CATAPULT WERE TAKEN INTO CUSTODY.