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Field Reports

This is intelligence from our Field Agents (that's you). Discover what your fellow Agents are up to. Missions, mysteries, and more!

To file your own Report, send us an Eel-Mail.

Deputy Director Napoleon responds to your mail

Field Agent: Josh / age: 9
Why is it so hot?

Napoleon replies:
Are you perhaps sitting on your cocoa?

Field Agent: Amalia
I was NOT sitting at my computer decoding your message. I was picking my nose, sitting at my computer decoding your message. Ha!

Napoleon replies:
Oh, are you a master of disguise, too, like Agent Solomon? When he goes deep undercover, he always needs to pick his nose... and his wig, and his clothes, and his accent. But he's really good at it!

Field Agent: <classified> / age: 15
The radio drama podcast rocks! More, and soon!

Field Agent: Agent Bingo / age: 4 / location: Florida
The new radio drama was wonderful. You should make many more. If you ask me, it was a great success.

Napoleon replies:
Well, I guess it was OKAY. I think the next one will be better, IF they give a certain penguin a lead role instead of recording it when he's out on vacation. Speaking hypothetically, of course.

Field Agent: Brandy / age: 10
It was my mom's birthday party and my aunt had got the cake and somebody ate her cake. So I was on a mystery to find out who ate my mom's cake.

Napoleon replies:
That IS a worthy mystery. I find that the best thing to do in these cases is to... hey! Why is everyone looking at me? I was nowhere near her house at 32 West Oxford Street, with the green shutters and the... oops! I've said too much...

Field Agent: Brandon / age: 11
He's up to something.

Napoleon replies:
I am not!

Field Agent: Mieke / age: 10
I want to find out more about the Black Rhino.

Napoleon replies:
Me, too. I bet SHE'S the one who stole that cake! That's SO like her.

Field Agent: Jacob
Regarding babies: Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, goga, monkey, FFFBI, dodo, dodo, do, la, monkey.

Napoleon replies:
Agent Jacob, I think you would make a great leader with the CIIIA. You already sound like their top people!

Field Agent: Sherdyn
I'm being robbed!

Napoleon replies:
Me, too. Have you seen the price of herring these days?

Field Agent: Monica / age: 11 / location: Washington
Regarding: Astronaut Grizzly Bear busted. It is hard work to fight an evil grizzly bear trying to take over the whole universe with his magic Sapphire stone ring. I went to take the ring off his paw. He almost turned me into a alien. If it wasn't for my mirror which reflected the ray back to him, I would be a slimy gross alien now.

Napoleon replies:
Splendid work, Agent Monica! And I thought mirrors were only good for checking for doughnut powder on your upper beak.

Field Agent: Courtney / age: 13 / location: Alberta
Bank cats! A bank in Lionessville has been robbed! The kitty cat police have suspected that the robber was Leonardo D. Vinchi, a smalltime thief known to break into houses and steal tiny things like jewelry, money, et cetera. But they couldn't find enough clues to make the case classified. So they decided to call me in to take care of the job.

Napoleon replies:
Good luck, Agent Courtney. Please report back when you know more.